The Trap of Unforgiveness

Be honest—is there unforgiveness you’ve let simmer too long in your heart? Take a step of healing today.

THIS WEEK’S BOLD STEP DEVOTION

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
(Ephesians 4:32)

When my daughter was a young girl, she got her head stuck between two railing bars. No matter how she turned or tried to wriggle free, she couldn’t get out until I helped guide her. It was a little scary in the moment, but fortunately, she was okay. That image has stayed with me over the years because I’ve seen so many people spiritually stuck in the same way. Not between bars of metal—but between the bars of unforgiveness. It can creep in subtly, but its grip can be strong. Over time, the weight of unforgiveness can begin to steal our joy, and God can start to feel more distant.

I’ve seen firsthand how unforgiveness can turn toxic over time. Bitterness, anger, harsh words, and even moments of rage are symptoms of wounds we’ve never dealt with. Maybe someone hurt you years ago, a friend betrayed your trust, or a family member’s words still echo in your heart. If those things were never processed with God, they can simmer under the surface, and when stress, frustration, or a new hurt triggers it, all those unresolved emotions can spill out in ways you didn’t expect.

Ephesians 4 speaks directly to this issue as it addresses the importance of relationships, unity, and how we are called to treat one another. There’s one verse that has always given me pause: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” The word “grieve” means to bring sorrow to the Spirit. When we refuse to forgive others and allow bitterness to take root, we’re not just hurting ourselves—we’re also grieving the very Spirit who dwells within us. And when the Spirit is grieved, our joy can be hindered. You might still experience moments of happiness, but the deep, lasting joy that comes from God can’t thrive in a heart that holds onto unforgiveness.

Friend, I don’t want that for you. You were created for true, Spirit-filled joy, but you can’t experience that while holding onto unforgiveness. My challenge to you is to take that first step. Allow God to begin working in the areas and emotions you’ve been holding back or avoiding; let Him guide you through the process of forgiveness even though it’s profoundly difficult; let Him teach you how to forgive—because first, “in Christ God forgave you.” To help you take that initial step, I’ve made my message The Trap of Unforgiveness available through the link below. I truly believe it could be the breakthrough your heart needs.

Prayer:
Father, I come before You today, asking for Your help to release any unforgiveness that may be holding me back. Guide my heart toward healing and fill me with the strength to forgive, just as You have forgiven me. May Your Spirit restore my joy and renew my relationship with You, that I may live fully in the freedom You’ve provided. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Listen to the sermon: The Trap of Unforgiveness

Part 1Part 2Part 3

Ministry Update from Mark

As I reflect on the challenges we face in these uncertain times, I’m reminded of our call to live fearlessly, trusting that the Spirit equips us with the power to love God, love others, and find strength in the midst of adversity. Bold Steps is here to meet people where they are, offering content that encourages us to live boldly and share the good news of Jesus in a world that desperately needs hope. As we approach the end of Bold Steps’ fiscal year on June 30, would you consider giving a gift to continue to bring the life-changing message of Christ to more people?

As a thank-you, I’d love to send you a copy of my latest devotional, More Than a Label: Discovering Who You Are in Christ. This 15-day devotional study will help you dive deep into what God’s Word says about your identity in Christ. I believe this resource will encourage and strengthen your walk with God as you explore the truth of who you are in Him.