What social skills are you seeking to develop in your children and grandchildren? May I suggest five essential skills needed by every child.
If a child can show affection, appreciate others, deal with anger , learn to apologize, and pay attention, he will be a responsible adult.
During infancy, a child does not distinguish between milk and tenderness, between solid food and love. Without food a child will starve. Without love, a child will starve emotionally and can become impaired for life. A great deal of research indicates that the emotional foundation of life is laid in the first eighteen months of life, particularly in the mother/child relationship. The ‘food’ for future emotional health is love expressed in five ways: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Speak all five languages to your child the first eighteen months and you are laying the best possible foundation for emotional health.
A Listener asks, “Gary, I’m confused about what my LL’s really are. It seems they change based on a given situation. How can I really know?” Listen to A Love Language Minute as Dr. Gary Chapman answers this question.
A Listener asks, “Gary, what is your stance on marriage after a divorce?” Listen to A Love Language Minute as Dr. Gary Chapman answers this question.
“I love you, no matter what!” This is unconditional love, and it is what children crave. Don’t withhold your love from a child when they miss-behave. Does this sound like permissiveness? It is not. Rather, it is doing first things first. A child’s emotional love tank must be filled before any effective training or discipline can take place. A child with a full love tank can respond to parental guidance without resentment. On the other hand, when the child does not feel loved, the discipline seems harsh and unfair. Discipline wrapped in love is the most effective discipline. So, if your child’s love language is ‘physical touch’ give him a big hug before you give the correction and after you give the correction.
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