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August 16, 2017

Growing Up Social - Part 4

What social skills are you seeking to develop in your children and grandchildren?  May I suggest five essential skills needed by every child.  

  1. How to receive and show affection  
  2. How to express appreciation.
  3. The skill of anger management.  Few things are more important than learning how to handle anger.  
  4. The skill of apologizing.  If a child does not learn to apologize he will have fractured relationships.  
  5. The skill of focused attention.  

If a child can show affection, appreciate others, deal with anger , learn to apologize, and pay attention, he will be a responsible adult.

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August 15, 2017

Your Emotional Foundation

During infancy, a child does not distinguish between milk and tenderness, between solid food and love.  Without food a child will starve.  Without love, a child will starve emotionally and can become impaired for life.  A great deal of research indicates that the emotional foundation of life is laid in the first eighteen months of life, particularly in the mother/child relationship. The ‘food’ for future emotional health is love expressed in five ways:  physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.  Speak all five languages to your child the first eighteen months and you are laying the best possible foundation for emotional health.

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August 14, 2017

Inconsistent Love Language

A Listener asks, “Gary, I’m confused about what my LL’s really are. It seems they change based on a given situation. How can I really know?” Listen to A Love Language Minute as Dr. Gary Chapman answers this question.

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August 11, 2017

Do you believe in marriage after marriage?

A Listener asks, “Gary, what is your stance on marriage after a divorce?” Listen to A Love Language Minute as Dr. Gary Chapman answers this question.

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August 10, 2017

I love you, no matter what!

“I love you, no matter what!”  This is unconditional love, and it is what children crave.  Don’t withhold your love from a child when they miss-behave.  Does this sound like permissiveness?  It is not.  Rather, it is doing first things first.  A child’s emotional love tank must be filled before any effective training or discipline can take place. A child with a full love tank can respond to parental guidance without resentment.  On the other hand, when the child does not feel loved, the discipline seems harsh and unfair.  Discipline wrapped in love is the most effective discipline.  So, if your child’s love language is ‘physical touch’ give him a big hug before you give the correction and after you give the correction.

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Profile

Dr. Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman is a well-known marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars. He has written more than 25 books including the #1 New York Times Best Seller, The Five Love Languages. Chapman is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds B.A. and M.A. degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively. He has received M.R.E. and Ph.D. degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and taken postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University. Chapman and his wife, Karolyn, have been married for more than 45 years and reside in Winston-Salem, N.C. The Chapmans have two grown children, Shelley and Derek.

A Love Language Minute

A Love Language Minute is a daily one-minute program. In a world where life is so busy that most people forget to care for their closest relationships, Dr. Gary Chapman is there to help individuals refocus and re-calibrate. A Love Language Minute draws from Gary's years of counseling experience, excerpts from his live events, and his answers to listeners' questions to give encouragement and practical help and hope for the relationships in your life.