Parshall Partners

Compassionate Cruelty

         C.S. Lewis famously wrote:  "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world".  In his book, The Problem of Pain, Lewis reminds us that, even in suffering, God is near to the broken-hearted.

         Wendy Duffy was a care worker who lived in the West Midlands in the U.K.  In 2023, Wendy’ son, Marcus choked on a tomato that became lodged in his windpipe while sleeping, starving his brain of oxygen. “They think he must have fallen asleep when he still had food in his mouth. That’s the only comfort, that there was no struggle,” Duffy said.

         His death was so devasting to her that nine months later, Wendy tried to kill herself by overdosing.  She survived but was put on a ventilator for two weeks.   After recovering from the overdose, Wendy stated that no amount of medication or therapy could make her whole again and that she “couldn’t wait” to die.

         Wendy reached out to Pegasos Swiss Association, an “assisted-dying” nonprofit organization, founded by a right-to-die activist in 2019.  Duffy paid the organization $13,500 to euthanize herself under their care, because, according to Duffy, that is the only way her “spirit can be free”. She said, “this time, I want it to be ‘neater’.  I could step off a motorway bridge or a tower block but that would leave anyone finding me dealing with that for the rest of their lives”

         Duffy told a British newspaper that she’s chosen what to wear on her deathbed and that Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ “Die With A Smile” will be playing when she dies.  She has requested that whatever belongings she brings with her will be donated after she dies. Duffy comes from a large family of four sisters and two brothers, whom Duffy says understand her decision. She said, “I will call them when I get to Switzerland. It will be a hard call where I’ll say goodbye and thank them.  But they will get it. They know. Honestly, 100%, they know that I’m not happy, that I don’t want to be here.”

         Duffy is now dead, having ended her life by what Pegasos called a “sane suicide”. The founder of the ‘death clinic’ said, “I can confirm that Wendy Duffy, at her own request was assisted to die…and that the procedure was completed without incident and in full compliance with her wishes. I can also confirm that neither we nor any of the professional staff assessing her mental capacity had any doubt as to her intention, understanding and independence of both thought and action.”

         It's been said that "Suicide isn't killing yourself, it's murdering everyone".  What Wendy Duffy needed was kindness, comfort and community, to know that God is near to the broken-hearted and He won’t leave or forsake us.  Wendy failed to hear God shouting that He has conquered death.  Instead, death took Wendy.

         Those are my thoughts. I’m Janet Parshall.