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Failing to live up to the Biblical ideal of a spouse isn't unusual. This doesn't mean your marriage is destined to fail; but is does require confession, repentance and forgiveness.
There are two responses to sin: we can confess our wrongdoing and seek forgiveness, or we can continue in our sin. For those who continue to sin, God will bring discipline the the Christian who continues to sin.
When preparing for deployment, the couple must acknowledge that there will certainly be challenges and that they need to find new ways to relate to each other. Be sure you know your spouse's love language and speak it often with them.
Your love language is Physical Touch, but your wife won't speak your language. You want her to speak to you in your language, but you don't want her to do it as an obligation.
When was the last time you touched your child? Some parents only touch their children out of necessity. Many parents are unaware of how much their children need to be touched. For children, touch is one of the most important love languages.
Is there only one person for you to marry? You can look at this in two different ways. God gives you choices as who you should marry. If God is actively in your life and you're seeking His guidance, He will guide you to the person you should marry.
It's difficult to express love to your spouse through physical touch when you do so much traveling. Let them know you're thinking about them and thinking about how you want to express your love to them even when apart.
Here's a question for you - do you hug your Child? Your hug might be the difference between emotional security or insecurity. Physical touch is one of your child's most important love languages.
Authentic relationships require honesty. Express the hurt you're feelings toward your spouse. If they hear and respond to what you say, your marriage can be restored. Listening leads to understanding.
The fruit of being controlled by the Holy Spirit will be demonstrated by living out the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23. This is not the result of you trying hard. This is the result of you being in a right relationship with God.