When Relationships Get Under Your Skin

THIS WEEK’S BOLD STEP DEVOTION

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
(Ephesians 4:22–24)

It doesn’t take much for another person to get under our skin. Someone takes forever ordering in the drive-through while you’re sitting behind them wondering how they could possibly still be deciding. A coworker has a habit that irritates you. Someone at home knows exactly which button to push, and somehow they always seem to find it. We all have our quirks, and when you put imperfect people together, there is going to be tension. The question isn’t whether people will frustrate us; it’s how we’re going to respond when they do.

In Ephesians 4, Paul talks about taking off the old self and putting on the new. And much of what he says has to do with the way we treat one another. He challenges us to be honest instead of hiding or manipulating the truth, to deal with anger before it has a chance to grow into resentment, and to become people who are more concerned about what we can give than what we can get. He also reminds us to pay attention to our words, because the way we speak to people has the power to either build them up or tear them down. When we’re hurt or angry, it’s easy to reach for the very thing we know will hurt the other person. We know their insecurities and tender places, and if we’re not careful, our words can become weapons. But Paul tells us to use our words differently, speaking in ways that build people up rather than tear them down.

Healthy relationships don’t happen simply because we’re Christians. They grow as we allow the Holy Spirit to change the way we think, speak, forgive, and respond. Paul tells us to get rid of bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and the baggage that grieves the Spirit, and instead to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Why? Because that’s how God has treated us. So the next time someone gets under your skin, don’t just focus on what needs to change in them. Ask God what He wants to change in you. Sometimes the greatest thing God wants to do in a difficult relationship begins in our own heart.

Bold Step Challenge:
Think about one relationship where there has been tension lately. Before focusing on what the other person needs to change, ask God to show you what you can do differently. It might mean telling the truth, letting go of anger, offering forgiveness, or choosing words that build up instead of tear down. Then take that step.

Prayer:
Father, thank You for the people You’ve placed in my life, even when relationships aren’t easy. Show me where I’ve allowed anger, resentment, selfishness, or careless words to affect the way I treat others. Change my heart and help me speak truth, extend grace, forgive freely, and use my words to build others up. Make my relationships reflect the kindness and forgiveness You have shown me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Listen to the sermon: series title here

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